When faced with an incurable diagnosis, where does someone go from there? I couldn't accept the fact that 1/2 my body was being enveloped by necrosis. This was due to a surgical error, in 2013, from my right hip replacement. This surgeon's errors were multifaceted, with the result basically cutting off blood circulation to the right side of my body. It was insane pain at it's highest degree. Dislocations, breaks, and twisted muscles were sewn back up inside of me by this orthopedic surgeon. This tragedy of a hip replacement caused me to feel continual, relentless shooting pain all over my sacrum, hips, and the right side of my body. I was told by this surgeon, "I was all in my head and I was the worst patient he ever had!"
I did not know how to relay the insanity pain I felt with every movement. No sitting, laying down, or standing would alleviate any part of the insanity reeling inside me. What Happened? I was a completely upright and walking human before my hip began to show signs of decay. I had just completed putting my autistic twins through college and was excited and ready for the new chapter(s) in life to commence!
As the days, weeks, months and years rolled by with no answer on to how to fix me, I began to feel suicidal as my insanity pain slowly crept upwards toward my heart. I was given no hope by dozens of doctors and specialists for over 3 years. I was also turned away from Cleveland Clinic with no answer. Realizing my insufferable existence, my then boyfriend, now husband, begged me to hold on as he tried to scour any resources that may help feel any sense of relief.
I held on, ... barely. Marijuana and Rum were my daily 'friends'. I cried often when I was alone, tried to sleep, and took over the top "Hot Baths" ~ whilst waiting for a miracle. I begged the universe continually for an answer, for any clue as to How I Could Fix My Body. ... ... ... then, my beloved boyfriend asked me if I would go get a massage from the place I used to work. Just to feel any relief, just to feel any calmness from within my skeletal frame.
My Miracle Day! ~ May 20th, 2016 was this Day! ~ My eyes still well up with tears when I recall this memory. I want to give this day in time it's proper 'due respect', so I will write of this ~ tomorrow.
Just know, in life my friends, Miracles Exist ~ They Truly Do ~ I am excited to share my journey to health, with You!
Remember to 'Kiss Your Fingertips Together' every day, as I mentioned in an earlier blog. It will help 'stabilize' your sympathetic and parasympathetic neuro systems. It will help your heart and mind feel peace.
lastly, for now ~ I will give my story to health it's due respect ~ but will 'lace' my blogging journey with many meditation and yoga techniques as well ~
Namaste' my friends,
Renee